


Inopportune

by iArgent



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Beau just wants to help, Caduceus is a disney princess and can talk to animals, Fjord is allergic to cats, Frumpkin is a cat, Gen, Happy Ending, M/M, Sad jester, Temporary Character Death, Yasha is new to cats, got a bit angsty for a sec, implied sexytimes, some post ressurection, some pre, the mighty nein has eight members fite me, which means he's a lovable lil shit, who definitely gets happier offscreen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 06:49:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15966959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iArgent/pseuds/iArgent
Summary: 5 Times Frumpkin was in the wrong place at the wrong time. And one time he was right where he should be.





	Inopportune

**Author's Note:**

> Everything I touch turns to angst today? But it's me, so it always ends happy!
> 
> Feel free to yell at me on Twitter @Digilsu

Sticky

 

Molly could barely see, eyes half closed, tail swishing gently from where it hung off the bed. Caleb laid across from him, sticky across the stomach as the base of Molly’s tail and stomach were. Livid bruises covering the humans chest and throat. Molly was pretty sure he’d bitten the man at some point, but from his angle, on his side, sunk into a weirdly fluffy pillow, with heavy limbs and tired eyes, he couldn’t see it.

 

“Here I thought you’d be done looking at me.” Caleb murmured, eyes shut, chest still heaving. Though Molly couldn’t complain, he was still panting like he’d sprinted from one end of Zadash to the other, tail swishing in absolute delight.

 

“Oh, darling, I don’t think I’ll ever be done looking at you.” He purred, he shifted onto one arm to scooch a bit closer, to initiate round two, or just cuddle he didn’t know yet, when he felt a sharp pain in his tail. “Ow!”

 

Caleb’s eyes fluttered open as he turned onto his side to reach Molly __“Was?__  What’s wrong?”

 

Molly, momentarily confused, flicked his tail a bit, and felt a soft, warm shape before he felt claws. “Ow! Yes you little beast.” Molly chided “I did just let your dad fuck me, why are you fighting my, ow! Tail!”

 

Caleb snorted and reached out to snap the cat away for a bit, when Molly felt four soft little paws appear on his shoulder. Caleb looked close to laughing, so clearly it was cute. Suddenly, the cat began to vibrate with the intensity of his purr, and flopped down, mostly on Molly’s shoulder, a bit on his neck, and reached out to press his fuzzy face to Calebs cheek, and doze off. Still purring like an oncoming stampede.

 

“Unfair.” Molly whispered, a bit transfixed by the smile on Calebs face. They were close enough to kiss again. But he was stopped by a cat. The angle required to close those few inches would dislodge Frumpkin, who may well seek revenge on Molly’s face.

 

The way Caleb looked at him now seemed to be a ‘he’s a cat, what can I do?’ apologetic expression. And Molly decided to let it go, this time.  

 

 

Burning

 

Nott sat cross legged on the floor in front of her Alchemy set. All her components stacked carefully next to her to add one by one. She was going to make acid. She was not going to burn a hole in the floor. She’d set time aside specifically for this. Just Nott, in a room, with her kit, making fucking awesome burny stuff.

 

“Mrrp?” Nott looked to the noise only to see Frumpkin laying in a near puddle by her components, eyes as big as the moon. She knew that look.

 

“Oh no. No no Frumpy.” She mumbled, almost to herself. She knew that if she tried to move him now, he’d bite her and go tearing around the room. As near as she could tell, cats were occasionally possessed.

 

So instead she held very still, and decided to continue on. Frumpkin did this sometimes, he’d maybe bat around a few components, then Nott would put a few pieces of bone into a bottle and let him go wild. He was Caleb’s cat, after all. He had to be at least a little rational.

 

She carefully added the first set of ingredients, watching the fluid turn the right color, without taking her eyes off of of the bubbling fluid, she reached and- ow!

 

Her arm was trapped by Frumpkins middle as he locked all four paws around her arm and bit into her elbow. “Ow! Frumplin!” she yelped, trying to shake him off. “Bad Frumpkin!”

 

She shook him a little bit again and watched as his tail started to lash. “Oh no,” It was the same way Jesters lashed when she was about to draw a dick in Caleb’s books. Or how Molly looked when he was about to go corner Caleb in a broom closet because he could. Playful.

 

Frumpkin can’t be playful by acid! She worried, trying to scoot a bit to get Frumpkin to dislodge, only for him to disengage and go rocketing past the kit, tail knocking into unstable acid.

 

“Shit!” Nott screeched, grabbing Frumpkin by the scruff and leaped onto the bed as the floor sizzled.

 

“Shit shit shit”

 

The door cracked and Fjord poked his head in “Hey Nott I know you said yer busy but- Holy fuck!”

 

Nott made eye contact with Frumpkin. “Never again.”

 

“Mrrp?”

 

 

Stormy

 

Yasha sat peacefully on the porch of the inn they’d stopped at. It was a nice porch, accessible from all rooms on the second floor as a wrap around. She had it all to herself though, because it was raining. A downpour. She’d left the door open so anybody could call to her if needed.

 

But for now, she was sitting, dangling her legs off the side, drenched to the skin, smiling at the raging storm. There wasn’t a lot of lightening, but the sky was a nice grey color, and the thunder was so strong it made the oil lamps inside rattle.

 

“Mew”

 

She looked back to see Frumpkin sitting in the open doorway, out of the rain. His eyes were big like he was worried. Yasha didn’t know much about cats.

 

She heard a lock in the door before thunder washed away noise and made all of Frumpkins fur stand up.

 

“MRRRROWWWWWW”

 

Yasha had never heard Frumpkin make that noise before. And she worried for a moment. If he was sick she’d have to go get Caleb.

 

“Aw, shut it, you.” Beau grumbled, walking up next to him and nudging the cat with her foot “She’s fine.”

 

Frumpkin hissed and bolted into the rain, and Yashas lap. Where he curled and made a mournful howling noise.

 

Yasha, panicking, patted him lightly and stood up. The cats soft fur drenched already, making him look like a different animal. Beau bolted out, hands outstretched for Frumpkin catching, fearing he’d slice Yasha to ribbons, but it just provided him a new target.

 

“Gah! Fuck! Fuckin’ cat!”

 

Beau grumbled and went back inside while Yasha gently toweled the cat off in her own bed. “I’m glad you aren’t hurt Frumpkin.” She admitted softly. Frumpkin even deigned purr beneath his angry growl.

 

Yasha looked out to the storm and sighed. She was missing this one.

 

 

Inky

 

Jester nibbled on the tip of the quill. She had to write a letter to he Mama. But she didn’t know what to write. Or how to write it. She wanted to tell her everything. About how scared she had been and how worried she was the others wouldn’t come. And how betrayed she felt that the Traveller hadn’t saved her and stopped all this. How sad she was that…

 

She couldn’t tell her Mama those things. Not in a letter. She felt homesick. Weeks from her home, and everyone was so sad. There wasn’t a way to take her mind off of it. Yasha hadn’t come to the bathhouse, she’d checked. And…And nobody had come to see the Gentleman, she’d checked that too. Caleb told her he’d…He’d left instructions.

 

She bit the quill a bit more. She had to write though. Her Mama probably missed her. She could…She could tell her about Kiri! And how they’d found her a home, and how she missed her little bird, and she’d just leave out all the bad bits after that. She’d tell her they were all safe and sound in Zadash.

 

She was doing good too. There weren’t tear marks on the page, and her hand wasn’t shaking. It usually was. Either because Lorenzo and his manacles were dicks, or because she missed… She was doing good!

 

She went to add a delicate curlicue to the end of a ‘g’ because happy people add curlicues to ‘g’s when a soft paw papped her hand, causing her stroke to go wide.

 

Jester looked at it critically. It didn’t ruin the happy mood. She would just add that the cat had bumped her as she wrote. A kitty on her desk would be cute! Really it just made it more believable.

 

“Shoo. Not right now.” She tsked, waving the cat off.

 

“Mew.”

 

Jester looked at the cat, setting her quill down and lifting the orange kitty by his armpits to touch their noses. “Yes yes. You’re very cute but I gotta write my Mama.” She cooed “You go sit with Caleb. Or…Or Fjord! You could make him sneeze.” And she set the cat down and tuned back to her letter, hurriedly scratching down a few more letters when she was forced to quickly right a fallen inkwell.

 

“Frumpkin!”

 

 

Whoops

 

Fjord was unconscious, and he seemed to be having some trouble breathing. Caduceus wasn’t sure if the breathing was due to the injury, or the cat laying on his chest.

 

“Hey there little fella.” He murmured, reaching out to touch the animal, who trilled and rubbed his face on one of Clay’s outstretched fingers.

 

“Mrrrrrp.”

 

“Ah, yer keeping him safe, huh little buddy?”

 

“Mew”

“That’s very nice but I gotta fix him. Don’t wanna be missing an extra uncle right?”

 

Frumpkin stood shakily and hopped down, headbutting Caduceus’s leg as if to say ‘I moved, now fix him’

 

Beau was standing a few feet off, looking pale, but she snorted so Caduceus figured she wasn’t hurt, just stressed. So he leaned forward and began gently inspecting Fjord’s wound, deciding it wasn’t gonna do anything nasty if he closed it up, he tapped him with a quick ‘Cure Wounds’ and watched as his chest returned to almost normal.

 

“Now Frumpkin, you can’t lay on sick people’s injuries.” Clay lectured. “They stop Cleric’s like me from seeing how bad it is and helping.”

 

Frumpkin hopped up to lay on Fjords belly. “Mrrr?”

 

“Yeah, I s’pose his tummy is fine. You make his breathing bad though.”

 

Caduceus could swear the cat enjoyed that part.

 

 

New

 

Molly woke with a jolt, as he’d been doing all night. He was surprised Caleb hadn’t done the same. As it seemed whenever Molly woke up, Caleb was right there making sure he was alright.

 

It was odd though. Usually he was having a nightmare or had pulled the blankets over his face. So it took a moment to wake u enough to realize the reason he’d woken was a small orange ball, curled up between he and Caleb, purring as loud as it could.

 

“Frumpkin?” Molly whispered, worried the still croaky tone of his voice would wake Caleb.

 

The cat’s head popped up, big soft eyes shining in the light from the moon. Then, the cat unfolded and scuttled over to Molly, pressing his nose to his face and rubbing his whiskers on every part of Molly he could reach, before going back to his little middle ground and curling back up. Eyes still on Molly, purring still loud as thunder.

 

“Mnn. Molly?”

 

“Here, love.”

 

Calebs eyes cracked open and he slid towards Molly like he had all those months ago, only Frumpkin just curled up tighter until Caleb had an am slung over Molly, and Frumpkin, warm and soft, vibrated against both of their chests.

 

“I think he’s learned timing.” Molly quipped, a lead weight in his stomach. Usually the cat fought them getting too close at night, preferring to have Caleb to himself. But now, he was curled up in kitty contentment between them.

 

“He missed you.” Caleb murmured, pressing their foreheads together and closing his eyes again, arm around Molly squeezing.

 

It was quiet, and Molly could almost pretend to hear the other six, in the surrounding rooms, breathing softly in sleep.

 

“I suppose I missed him too.”


End file.
